Apparently you make a good broom.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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