I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
