Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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