I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
