well you can't waste a boner
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
