just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
