So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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