A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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