ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
