My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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