Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
