I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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