We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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