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just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
