I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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