Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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