Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
