I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Still dying that you shit outside
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
