THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
