my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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