Don't you send me to vm
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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