whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
