I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
