I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
