Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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