THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
