i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
