I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
