Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
