Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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