I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
