Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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