So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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