evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize