It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
