STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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