everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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