i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
