He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
