Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
