he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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