Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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