He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
