We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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