she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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