its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
