You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
