This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
