Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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