You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
