if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
