Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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