My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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