just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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