I'm going to jail i love you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
