is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
