singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize