no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
