Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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