What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that's an acceptable place to lick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
