you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
ttyl tear gas
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I just shit out all my problems.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
